Introducing: The Appalachian Foodie

That’s me. The Appalachian Foodie!

Let's get a few things straight, right off the bat. I was born and raised here in Appalachia. I have all of my teeth, I usually wear shoes, even inside the house.   I do not grow my own food. I don't have a garden, not really anyway. I don't go huntin' or fishin'. I don’t pick up road kill “for later.” Although there is a road kill festival (check it out here: www.pocahontascountywv.com )  in West Virginia. That takes place a good three hours from where I live, though. With the exception of a few herbs, tomatoes and peppers that flourish in containers in the summertime, I buy everything at the grocery store. I may be 100% Appalachian born and bred, but I do not really enjoy spending time outdoors. A garden would be no fun for me. And I can’t kill a fly, I trap them under cups and set ‘em free. So hunting is out as well.

Truth be told, I don’t always use food sources indigenous to the Appalachian region. I have never cooked with venison, nor rabbit nor bear. I’m not opposed to those meat sources, I simply haven’t had the opportunity to use them.

I just happen to live here in West Virginia, a state which is completely ensconced within the Appalachian mountain range. My hometown is a quaint little village snuggked up to one of the biggest cities in the state, so while I’m not exactly a city gal, I ain’t all that country, neither!

I have come to love food completely on my own. My food history isn’t long and complicated. As a little girl my mom fixed lotsa casseroles featuring leftovers. Sometimes dinner was a Frankenstein concoction of whatever needed to be cleaned out of the fridge and freezer. We had soups and stews like that as well.

For my mother, who also worked two jobs, one of them being her own business, cooking was a chore. For me, it is a creative outlet. A delightfully challenging, sometimes frustrating surprise every day. I have no formal training as a cook and most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing. But my kitchen concoctions almost always turn out super yummy. Sometimes I make up a recipe, sometimes I find inspiration elsewhere and I am inclined to Appalachify it a bit.

Take a recipe I found for baked spinach chips. Which I have since dubbed,  "50 Shades of Leafy Greens,"  not only because they are  heavenly yet sinfully delicious, they also elicit moans of pure ecstasy as you consume them with a building, passionate frenzy and you feel as if you are a spinach virgin, never having tatsted this underrated leafy green quite like this!

Well, that and there are at LEAST 50 ways to season them (I have also spiced them up with cayenne, some "Eye-talian" ones with garlic-infused olive oil. I added  a healthy sprinkle of  cajun spice mix to them once and WOOOOO-eeeee they was MMMMMMM-licious!!)
The ingredients listed called for olive oil to toss the spinach leaves in. Well, sure, like any cook worth her sea salt, I HAD olive oil on hand. But the first time I made them I ALSO had BACON GREASE hanging around from breakfast.  BAAACCOOONNNNN. GREEEEEASE. A staple in any household in Appalachia, I'll have you know. And an extra strip of bacon I was saving for…something. Spinach and bacon are a match made in heaven as anyone knows who has had a fresh spinach salad with hot bacon dressing.

So with out further ado allow me, The Appalachian Foodie, to  present to you:

50 Shades of Leafy Greens, Bacon Edition

You will need:

1 package fresh (not frozen) baby spinach leaves

1-2 Tbs bacon grease

1 strip of bacon, pulverized

Salt and pepper

Cookie sheet

Parchment paper or brown paper lunch bag

Large bowl

Paper towels

Directions:

Pre-heat the oven to 250ºF.

Not from a garden!

Place 2 paper towels on workspace and lay spinach in a single layer on the paper towels, this will help them dry quickly. They need to be dry so the bacon grease will stick and so they crisp up in the oven. Leave on paper towels for at least 15 minutes.
     
                                                               

Air dry the leaves

Place the spinach in a large bowl and toss GENTLY with 1 Tbs of the grease. Add more if needed. If the grease is fresh, let it cool JUST A BIT, don’t let it solidify, you need it liquidy. If it is already in  solid form in a coffee cup from the fridge (admit it, you have a coffee cup of bacon grease in your fridge right now, don’t you? If you’re even a LITTLE bit country, you do!) nuke it in the cup a bit in the microwave until it is in liquid form again.
Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper.

Baconization

Lay the spinach leaves out in a single layer on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. If you don’t have parchment, use a paper lunch bag cut to fit your cookie sheet. Spray with cooking spray before adding spinach.

                                               Try not to overlap the leaves or they will just steam and not crisp up.

Bake for 15-20 minutes until cellophane thin, and a bright, dark green color.

In the oven!

   
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
 
While leaves are baking, take your strip of bacon, and I KNOW this seems so unfair, cruel and brutal even, but I PROMISE it will be worth it, so... PULVERIZE it! I used a mini food chopper, you can just use a knife to keep cutting and cutting until the bacon is in teeeeny tiny pieces.


When the spinach is done, pull each individual leaf  one by one off of the cookie sheet on to a paper towel-lined plate. This will help soak up any extra grease. The leaves emerge from the oven a glorious bright and dark green, so pretty!

So green! So pretty!

 

 

Sprinkle pulverized bacon on top of spinach leaves . And they are ready to serve!!

Not a great pic, but you get the idea!

Be sure sure to repeat the recipe a few times because you’ll be shocked at how quickly they melt in your mouth and vanish “just like that”!! And if you are ANYthing like I am, you will do the whole “One for me, one for you. Two for me, one for you!,” thing as you pull the crispy, salty yummies off the cookie sheet. One on the plate, two in your mouth! Trust me, you can’t have just one and you’ll find as you eat them you will get more and more selfish and want them all for yourself!

These are so simple to make, and absolutely fool-proof!  Just keep making more! I dare you to try to stop! You'll want more and more and more and...! Hey, I don't call em "50 Shades" for nothin!